My recovery would not be what it is today without the people at Sinnissippi who pointed me in the right direction and continue to help me stay on the right track. Just as important and the cornerstone of my sobriety is sponsorship in AA, my higher power, attending as many meetings as possible and my own actions toward doing the next right thing. These things I have given me a calmness and serenity in my life I have never known before.
I am 30 years old and have been a heavy drinker since I was 12. Life has been rough on me. I lost my grandmother who was like my second mom, lost my mother to cancer, and lost many friends all before I was 20. I chose the hard road and it was hard. I thought the world was against me and my life was filled daily with stress and crisis.
Then I got sick, and the daily pain became unbearable. I drank with the hope that it would make all those things go away. In the beginning it worked for a little while, but in the end all it did was make my problems worse and got into trouble. I was so good at hiding my drinking that most everyone I knew was shocked when I admitted that I had a serious problem and made the decision to quit. On the morning I made the decision to get sober, something changed in my life. I don’t know what it was or why it happened, but I am extremely grateful for that day. I say all of this because I want it to be understood that I know how hard it is. I know how easy it is to believe that living like that is the only choice. The next day I went to Sinnissippi. Knowing nothing of staying sober I asked for help. They offered me a path, that if followed thoroughly, would lead me straight to my goal of living a sober heathy life.
Warily, I took their suggestions and started attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and group therapy at Sinnissippi. It was hard in the beginning but little by little I found hope in the new things I was trying and the new people I was meeting. No matter what I had done in my past they were accepting of me and truly wanted to help me get better and I did start getting better. There is more serenity, love, and TRUE friendship in my life today than there has ever been.
I have gained so much in just the last four and half months. My health is getting better. My children have noticed (at 5 & 8) the improvement in my attitude and the way I deal with them has never been better. My relationship with my husband has improved by leaps and bounds.
Now to the stress and crisis, it is still there and it even still gets to me at times. However, I have acquired great tools; from my sponsor, Sinnissippi, the wonderful people I met at AA, the meetings themselves, and all the literature I could get my hands on from both. These tools have saved me more times than I can count.
When that stress creeps in or the crises become too many I know what to do now. I can reach in my toolbox and pull out any number of tools I can use on my own like prayer (to a god of my understanding), meditation, readings, taking a walk, etc. If those tools just don’t cut it that time, I have a sponsor and a list of real friends I can call and talk to anytime day or night. These wonderful people want to help me and they truly want to see me succeed. There is constant acceptance even if I mess up from time to time. They have been in my position and they don’t expect perfection just that I keep trying to better my life and myself. Being sober has given me a clarity I haven’t had in a long time and thus has given me back my gift for words and my imagination. My great passion in life, besides being a mom, is to write. My few months of sobriety have given my writing new life and me a great outlet for all of those things I used to try and drink away.
My recovery would not be what it is today without the people at Sinnissippi who pointed me in the right direction and continue to help me stay on the right track. Just as important and the cornerstone of my sobriety is sponsorship in AA, my higher power, attending as many meetings as possible and my own actions toward doing the next right thing. These things have given me a calmness and serenity in my life I have never known before. When I am asked what my recovery means to me, my answer is simple; it means I have my life back and I don’t have to feel alone anymore.